Baffled European

Tag: freedom of speech

  • Just ICE

    “We will come after you and we will prosecute you. We will find you.” This is Pam Bondi, the Attorney General, threatening judges. Not terrorists, or immigrants, or even transes, but judges. Two judges have been arrested in the last couple of days on the ridiculous charge of obstructing ICE agents from deporting somebody.

    Maybe difficult to top, but she has also issued a memo saying ICE can enter any home without a warrant. Who voted for that? Now they are deporting children – US citizens – while their parents are trying to stop the process.

    She got the job by being a presenter on Fox News, her boss’s favourite channel, and for taking a bribe from him to avoid an investigation into his diploma mill. At some point, she worked on his first impeachment trial, but she was only one of many. That Fox job – she was Florida Attorney General at the time. She was challenged on ethical grounds about this, but lied a lot and got away with it.

    Corrupt, obviously. Also racist, bloodthirsty and spiteful. And, as with so many others in the gang, a big fan of Russia. Part of her vandalism has been to disband the agencies that investigate or sanction Russian oligarchs.

    Since becoming Attorney General, her job seems to be to appear on Fox News as often as possible in order to tell many obvious and unfounded lies as possible. She’s the ideal person to destroy the justice system.

  • Secret Service

    “Dominos Pizza Service, how can I help?”

    “Yeah, hello, do you have any war plans?”

    “I’m sorry sir, we don’t have any war plans on the menu.”

    “Then they need to be on the menu. You gotta get used to the idea of – yeah, bourbon, please… large, thanks – yeah, the idea of war plans. We’ll get these war plans rolling and then it’ll be margarita time!”

    “One Margherita. Do you want coke with that?”

    “Obviously. I tell you, if you haven’t got your own war plans – another bourbon, yes, that’s lovely – I got some war plans of my own that I made myself. Those Pentagon plans, that’s for those goddamn pathetic Europeans. They just freeload off of us – if it looks like it’s going down, just top it up, cheers – like they’re on vacation in Hawaii.”

    “One Hawaii. With extra pineapples?”

    “As many as possible. Yeah, where are they then? Anybody seen the war plans? Don’t tell me I left them on the S-Bahn, I was sure I had them when I got off. What’s that James? You got a copy on Google Drive? Email it to me, but remember what happened last time – what, empty? there’s a bottle of Drambuie in the cabinet, I think there’s some left in that – got them, great. War plans, now listen. You remember what happened to Hallo Pizza, you don’t want that to happen to you …”